Let Me Love You Read online

  Sex. Yes, he wanted to fuck her every which way to Sunday. The thought kept him awake on numerous nights and calloused both his hands. But more than sex, he wanted to hold her hand, wrap his arms around her, and kiss her good night. He craved being the person she confided in, laughed with, the shoulder she cried on. He wanted to share a life with her. His life. Her life. Yep, at some point, Ren Haynes had fallen in love with his neighbor. With Randy out of the picture, nothing prevented him from going after what he wanted. Well, except for the fear of rejection.

  “Lucky girl,” she whispered, bringing him out of his reverie.

  “I hope she feels that way.”

  “Why wouldn’t she? You’re an amazing guy.” She fanned herself with her hands as if staving off the heat. “Is this someone you might be interested in for more than just one of your one-night stands?”

  His face grew warm and he bowed his head in shame. At this moment, he wished she didn’t know him quite as well. That she might think him incapable of a commitment didn’t sit well.

  “Yes. One hundred and ten percent.”

  “Wow! Ren Haynes has grown up.”

  “Yes, I have.” His voice was soft, but poised.

  “I’m impressed. And proud of you. I remember moving here ten years ago and you were just a thirteen-year-old kid with nothing but football and girls on the brain.” Laughing, she continued. “I think that remained your status for quite some time. But now, look at you, a college graduate with an engineering and a business degree. A bright future. It’s so great to see and have been a part of it.”

  “You’re embarrassing me.” Swatting his hand in her direction, he grazed her arm. His heart stopped. His breath lodged. Starting where their skin connected, a current shot through him. He’d touched her before. They’d hugged, brushed past each other, and he’d even picked her up and tossed her in the pool. But this—this was different. Stronger.

  She jerked her arm away as if the touch burned, and wrapped it over her middle. Goosebumps pebbled her forearm and the light hairs stood at attention. That he had any effect on her at all gave him hope.

  “Any plans for the summer?” Despite her reaction, her voice remained calm.

  “Not really. Was hoping to hang out around here when I’m not interning.” By here he meant right here, next to her. Taking her to dinner. Going to the beach at sunset. Curling up on the couch watching a movie. He didn’t care as long as they spent time together.

  “Interning? That’s right! Your mom mentioned you got an internship in Tampa. How great. And exciting! Do you think you’ll get a permanent position there afterwards? Or do you plan to move on when it’s over?” Her rambling made his lips twitch with a hint of a smile. She seemed nervous, off balance since they touched. He wished he could see inside her pretty head to gauge where her thoughts had wandered. The insight would boost his confidence.

  “I took my FE exam my last semester and passed it.”

  “FE?” Her brows knitted.

  “FE is the fundamentals examination. It’s the first part of my engineering license. I need to work or ‘intern’, as the firms like to say, for four years before I can even apply to take my professional exam and get my professional engineering license.”

  “So, this internship is four years? That’s a long time.”

  “It’s not the kind of internship you’re thinking. It’s paid. Health and retirement benefits. Paid vacations. Sort of like being an engineer without all the liability.” He laughed. He’d never admit his nervousness about the job. It had been one thing to take classes and practice structuring fake buildings. These buildings would be places where people would live or work. Though thoroughly excited, this reality also made his skin tingle and stomach somersault.

  Real world, prepare!

  “Rochester and Rogue train their interns with the hope they will take a permanent position. I’d like to stay in the area. I love it here. This is my home.” He had every intention of staying in the area and sweeping her off her feet, but she’d understand that soon enough. “Other than that, I just want to relax and get into the swing of this real-world stuff, as you call it. Catch up with some friends and family.”

  “Sounds incredible. What a great opportunity for you.”

  “Thanks, Stace. Means a lot to me that you feel that way. What’re you up to this summer?”

  “Working on a new book.” Her words carried an edge of excitement and her eyes lit up like they always did when she wrote. Randy hadn’t zapped that aspect of her happiness. Good. “Remind me to tell you about it later. I’m still hashing out the characters, but the premise is there. Plus, I’m teaching one writing course at the community college this summer. I’ll be back full time in the fall, but I wanted to get this book going and a full load of writing classes in the summer is too intense to allow it. The semester doesn’t start for another two weeks either, so I’m pretending to have a ‘summer break,’ too.” She cocked an eyebrow and beamed at him. His chest tightened at her delight and happiness. She had no idea how sexy she was, how adorable.

  “I want to hear about the book. Is it a romance or suspense?”

  “It’s going to be both. I can’t tell you everything yet.” She folded her hands in front of her chest as if praying. “I’m still working it out, and you know how I am about revealing all of the details of my plot before it’s ready. But I’d love your thoughts when I am.”

  “My thoughts?” He raised an eyebrow. That she asked his opinion on a storyline surprised him.

  “Absolutely. The hero is going to be a pro-football player who gets wrapped up in a murder investigation of a teammate he had a feud with. The heroine is the detective investigating the case. I’ll need some help with the football terminology and making sure I get it right. Who better than you? You’re the biggest football buff I know.”

  “I love it! I’m intrigued…and flattered,” he said, and meant it. “I look forward to helping.” Hell yeah! He wanted to throw up a fist pump. She’d just given him the most perfect excuse to spend time with her. Things were falling into place.

  She swung her legs to the side of the chaise lounge and leaned forward with her elbows resting on her knees.

  “Hmmm. Maybe I’ll even make the hero resemble you.” She studied his face with heat simmering in her blue eyes. Her gaze roved over his features, down his body and back up.

  “How would you feel about a character in my book being physically based on you? Light brown hair, short, almost military. Eyes the color of a clear blue sky. A perfect nose, well, except for that little bump where you broke it long before I knew you.” She smiled. “Built, lean muscles, broad shoulders.”

  Her voice sank low and sexy. He couldn’t tell if the change was for him or the character coming to life in her mind. She leaned closer. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

  Her lips parted, her breath pushing out in little bursts. Her gaze dropped to his mouth. Was she going to kiss him? He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying desperately not to palm the back of her head and kiss the daylights out of her. Should he go for it?

  He shifted, uncomfortable because his growing erection pressed into his shorts and he had no real way to adjust without being obvious. The movement shook her from her daze and her cheeks pinkened.

  So, he did the only thing he knew would ease her discomfort and redirected the conversation. “Mom told me about Randy and the divorce being final. Why didn’t you mention the pending divorce when I was home last time? I know I was only home a few days before Cancun, but I’d have helped you deal with this. We’re friends, Stace.”

  The light vanished from her eyes and he instantly regretted his words.

  Damn it.

  Changing the subject didn’t have to be hard. How about those Tampa Bay Rays? Have you been to the beach lately? Nope. He brought up her ex and deflated her like he’d stuck a pin in an overblown balloon.

  “I’d never burden you with my problems.” She dropped her hands to her lap. “Randy fell i
n love, or maybe it was lust—how the hell should I know?—with someone else. He’d left our relationship months before the divorce. There was nothing you could do.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. I could have punched him in the face.”

  “That’s sweet, Ren.” She covered her mouth, bowed her head, and closed her eyes as if surprised by her words. Shaking her head, she laid her hand in her lap. “I’m sorry. I’m a horrible person for thinking that physical violence is sweet. It’s just nice to have someone on my side.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You have every right to be angry and I am on your side.” He pushed out a rough breath. “How long was this going on?” Ren’s shoulders tensed, rising closer to his ears at the idea Randy showed up at the house for his parents’ barbeques and Christmas party with Stacey on his arm when he was banging another woman. If steam could shoot out the top of his head like a cartoon, it would. How could a man claim to love a woman and do such a thing?

  “After a while I stopped asking for details, but I presume it had been going on for quite some time.”

  “I am so sorry. I always thought you guys were happy. I know very little about relationships. I did envy him. Every time I’d see him kiss you or put an arm around you, I thought he was the luckiest man alive. You deserve so much more.”

  Sadness filled her eyes. The corners of her mouth edged down. The wounded look on her face forced his hands into fists in his lap and he ground his teeth to keep from telling her exactly what he thought of her ex.

  That fucking bastard!

  He prayed to never come face-to-face with Randy again. He’d beat him to a pulp for putting that hurt look in her eyes. For planting insecurities in her mind that shouldn’t exist, had never existed before he broke her.

  “Relationships change. We were together for eleven years, married for ten. I met him when I was so young, younger than you are now. He’d swept me off my feet at twenty. A soon-to-be lawyer, older and wiser than me. I thought we had it all for a bit, too. I got older and he wanted younger, I guess. She was his new paralegal at the firm. Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Apparently, the saying ‘one thing led to another’ really does happen.” She quirked an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. “So, here I am, single again.”

  The twinge in his chest tightened at the crack in her voice. Being left, especially for a younger woman, appeared to bother her, chiseling away at her confidence.

  Little did she know how grateful he was to have her back out playing the field, but with any luck, she wouldn’t be there long. He didn’t expect she’d be okay with his plans from the get-go, but he had nowhere else to be. He’d wait out the questions, her insecurities. He had nothing but time.

  “I know it might be hard to see the big picture right now with the wounds still so fresh, but I know everything will work out for you. You’re an amazing woman.”

  She tilted her head. Tears welled in her big blue eyes, breaking his heart.

  “Thank you, Ren. The last few months have been difficult, but I’m doing okay.” She smiled, but it was small and forced.

  “Is there anything I can help you with? Yard work? Pool cleaning? Whatever.”

  “You want to be my lawn and pool boy this summer, do you?” Her eyes softened with her words, teasing him.

  “I’d definitely consider that.” He’d be anything she wanted him to be.

  “You’re cute.” She beamed at him.

  He cringed at that word. Cute? Cute would never cut it. Not with a woman like Stacey. She needed sexy and brawny with a touch of sensitivity. He was all those things and he’d prove every one of them to her.

  “But in all seriousness, with the new landscaping around the yard I won’t need too much help there.” She waved at their surroundings. “I do have a couple of projects I want to get done around the house. The pantry door in the kitchen is partially unhinged, and I want to install a ceiling fan in the living room. With the windows in that room, it’s stifling, even with the air on, so I thought a fan might help circulate cooler air. A set of extra hands would be great! Of course, I’ll pay you. I’d rather have you help me than have to hire a stranger.”

  “You don’t have to pay me. It’s my pleasure.” He’d take no money for the tasks. He’d only ask for a chance, a chance to prove that he was everything she needed, wanted.

  She stood from the chaise and tucked the towel around her waist. “Would you like something to drink? I’m parched.” Before he could respond, she walked around the edge of the pool toward the sliding glass door at the back of the house that led to the kitchen. She disappeared inside.

  Rising, he followed. He’d prove to her he was more than cute. He’d show her how sexy and desirable she was. Ren had a way to make her forget Randy—permanently. No better time than the present to erase that jackass from her mind.

  Chapter Two

  Removing two tall glasses from the cabinet, Stacey placed them on the gray granite island countertop and exhaled. Had she just flirted with Ren? Pool boy! Ha! What was she thinking?

  Perhaps she’d stayed in the sun too long. Or the lack of sex for months had driven her crazy enough to flirt with her twenty-three-year-old neighbor.

  Sure, he was good-looking. Understatement of the year. He was stunning. Light brown hair cropped on his head, revealing deep blue eyes and a chiseled jaw, all of which made him fit for the cover of any magazine. The kind of guy who turned heads when he walked by. Not to mention he was smart and funny and kind.

  Even before Randy admitted to the affair, their lovemaking had become rote. Nothing sensual. A means to keep her from speculating if he had been banging his paralegal.

  After the finalization of her divorce, she’d needed some time to lick her wounds. Being cast aside for a younger woman had damaged her self-esteem. Not to mention the bimbo getting knocked up by her ex.

  Why was life so unfair? She’d asked Randy for years to start a family, always to be told “soon.” One broken condom in a lust-ridden affair and he was “soon” to be a daddy and she was a single woman again.

  She’d wanted desperately to be a mom. Her biological clock ticked. She knew the statistics, the difficulties in getting pregnant the older she became. Plus, she wanted to be young with enough energy to enjoy her children. Knowing what she did now about Randy, it was for the best they hadn’t tried. But that didn’t stop the desire to want a family or the fear that she’d miss the opportunity.

  At some point she’d venture back out on the dating scene. For Christ’s sake, she was only thirty-one.

  She and Randy had bought the house as a short sale during the first year of their marriage. They’d remodeled the kitchen and several other rooms, making the home their own. Ten years. Lots of memories. Some good. Others not so.

  She’d taken the house in the divorce because she wanted some consistency. Needed the comfort of familiarity after being blindsided. She’d never envisioned her marriage would fall into that fifty-plus percent that ended in divorce. Or that she’d be in her thirties trying to figure out her life. Screw comfort. Maybe she should have rented an apartment on the beach and started new, fresh.

  Speaking of fresh, her mind wandered back to her hot neighbor who sat outside waiting. Her pulse kicked. If she were a few years younger, she’d eagerly take him for a test ride as a means of putting herself back out there, but he was eight years younger and in a different place in life. Just starting out. Plus, he was her neighbors’ son. Flirting with him fell in the inappropriate category. Right?

  Of course, right!

  The soft flop of his thongs on the tiled floor warned her of his approach. She strode toward the refrigerator for ice. Shaking her head, she attempted to dislodge any and all naughty thoughts of him before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

  “Did you want tea or soda?” She reached for the handle of the stainless-steel refrigerator. Before she could yank the door open, he pressed his muscular chest against her back. To keep her balance, she flattened her palms against the refrigerato
r.

  He slipped his fingers between hers, pinning her.

  She stared at the contrast between their hands. Hers, so petite under his big, strong, tanned ones. She felt small and feminine enveloped in the cage he created for her. A feeling she hadn’t had in a while.

  His salty, beachy scent wrapped around her like a blanket, warming her all over. A splash of cocoa butter sunscreen mixed with something just him. Masculine. A heady combination.

  What was happening? And just how long had it been since a man had been this close? Perhaps she was still fantasizing, day-dreaming.

  He released her hands and captured her hips, holding her still as he brushed his erection against her backside.

  Nope. That was real.

  “Ren!” Shocked by both his boldness and the size of him, she sucked in a breath. Good God! She’d been with one man so long, she had forgotten penises came in different sizes.

  He was an extra-large.

  “Shhhh. Don’t talk.” He swept aside a few wisps of hair along her neck, tickling her.

  Goosebumps rose over her flesh. She struggled to rein in the moan that bubbled up her chest. If the sound escaped, he’d know she liked what he did. Enjoyed it even.

  She did like his touch, maybe even loved it, but she couldn’t let him know that. He’d only be encouraged.

  She could not encourage him. Or this.

  He pulled her hips back against him. His cock pressed hard against her backside, sending a warmth straight to her core. She bit her lower lip until tears formed. Anything to distract from the pleasure and excitement building inside. She missed this feeling. Sexual tension. Desire. A man wanting her.

  When his warm lips finally caressed her neck, her efforts of suppression failed. Flew right out the window. She exhaled a throaty sigh.

  It had been months, right before the holidays to be exact, since she’d last had physical contact with a man. And even longer than that with a man who’d touched her in such a sensuous manner.

  Heat simmered low in her belly and pooled between her legs, dampening her bikini bottoms with her arousal. Thank heavens the towel covered her lower half. She’d die of embarrassment if he noticed how slick she’d become from one simple little kiss to her neck.