Let Me Love You Read online

  Ren laughed. He’d gone back and forth on whether to mention his interest in Stacey to Tyler. Tyler wouldn’t tell a soul if Ren asked him not to, but Tyler knew Stacey from his days swimming with Ren at her house. They’d both crushed on her quite hard throughout high school.

  “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I kissed and told?” Ren raised his gaze to look at his friend, whose jaw dropped. Ren knew the deer-in-headlights look was from his use of the word boyfriend. A little premature? Yes. But he held high hopes that Stacey would open up to the idea.

  Ren focused on the game. He pulled back on the pool stick and hit the cue ball straight on. The white ball rolled hard, grazing the black eight-ball on the right side and sending it into the side pocket.

  “Guess you’re picking up the tab tonight, as usual.” He dropped the pool stick on the table and clapped his hands together.

  “Damn you, Haynes!” The glint in Tyler’s eyes said he wasn’t too concerned about covering their tab tonight…or any other night, for that matter. “Did you say boyfriend?” Tyler walked around the table to where Ren stood with his satisfied grin. “Since when? And why am I just hearing about this now?”

  “Because it’s new.” That was true. Ren had never been boyfriend material. He’d spent his teenage and college years playing the field and avoiding boyfriend status. The idea of being with just one woman for any length of time used to give him the chills and stifle his breath…until now. He’d just been waiting until the right woman became available.

  “Spill the beans, Haynes.” Tyler picked his beer up from the high-top table near them and swigged a sip. Ren stepped aside and allowed the new players to get started on their game. Then he huddled near the table with Tyler.

  “If I tell you about this, you have to swear on your life you won’t breathe a word of it.” Ren grasped his pint glass and sipped the amber ale.

  “Seriously? When have I ever blabbed one of your secrets? Remember that time—”

  “Okay. Okay. I don’t want to tread down memory lane of all the stupid shit I’ve done,” Ren interrupted. He didn’t know which story Tyler might pull from a long list of things they’d done over the years. Fifteen years of mischief provided them both with a memory bank full of leverage. “I’m seeing Stacey Williams.”

  Tyler’s brow furrowed, and he squinted as if the name did not ring any bells for him, but when it hit him, his mouth practically dropped to the floor. “Get out of here. Isn’t she married? Are you having an affair with a married woman? Holy shit, dude.”

  “Hold on.” Ren put his hand up. “She’s divorced. Has been since early April. Her dick of a husband cheated on her and got the girl pregnant.” He thought about how it must have felt for Stacey to not only find out her husband was having an affair, but that he impregnated the woman, too. The situation must have broken her heart in to a million pieces. He planned to work hard putting those pieces back together.

  “No fucking way. That bastard.” Tyler set his beer on the table and stared at Ren. “So, you guys are together-together?”

  “Well, that’s where it gets kind of tricky. I’ve made my feelings perfectly clear to her and we, well, we…” Ren trailed off. He didn’t quite know what to call their connection. Saying they hooked up cheapened the experience.

  “You nailed her?” Tyler’s voice pitched up with the question. He didn’t seem capable of keeping his jaw off the ground.

  “I don’t like it when you say it like that.” Ren puckered his face in displeasure. His experience with Stacey had been different. In the past, he’d never bat an eye talking with Tyler about his hook ups. They never degraded women, but he’d admit to using some crude terms when referring to some of their escapades.

  “How would you like me to say it? Hooked up? Fucked her?”

  “Shhh!” Ren shook his head. All of those sounded too harsh.

  “Made love?” Tyler practically sang, teasing.

  “Shut up, asshole.” Ren punched his arm, and Tyler laughed.

  “When’d this happen? Where’d it happen? And, well, how was it? As good as we used to dream?”

  Tyler’s words were filled with excitement. For several summers in a row, the two of them would peek out his bedroom window and watch her doing things around her yard in short shorts and tank tops or shorts and a bikini top. They’d go over her house to swim just to see her in a bathing suit. And they’d talk about the things they wanted to do with her.

  He cringed at the way he used to talk about Stacey. Not demeaning, but blatantly sexual. He’d pummel anyone who said such things about her like that now. But at the time, neither he nor Tyler believed the things they discussed would be anything other than a fantasy. Well, until a couple months ago when he found out about the divorce and decided to go for his chance. No one or nothing would stand in his way.

  “I’m not giving you details.”

  “What?” Tyler shook his head in disbelief. “You always give me details. Now you make love to your fantasy woman and I get zilch?” He air-quoted the words make love.

  “Sorry, man. We haven’t worked out the details of our situation and I haven’t spoken to my parents yet. I can’t let any of this out until it’s all worked out. I’m only telling you this because you’re my best friend and I needed to tell someone. Besides, you swore on your life and I’m trusting you.”

  Tyler put an arm over Ren’s shoulder. “Okay, dude. No details, but at least give me a word to describe it. Please.” Tyler gave his best puppy-dog eyes.

  “In-fucking-credible.” Ren’s heart raced at the mere mention of their lovemaking. “And I don’t even think that word does it an ounce of justice.”

  “You lucky little prick. I’m jealous as shit. And you just got back in town.” Tyler huffed out a breath of incredulity. He released Ren and grabbed his beer again, taking another sip.

  “When did you get back in town, Ren?” a familiar female voice said from behind him.

  Ren stiffened.

  He had known Carla Spruce most of his life and had sex with her more times than he cared to count. Some would have called them “fuck buddies,” and they’d have been right. She had been one of those girls who didn’t seem to mind a no-strings-attached relationship. At least that’s what she’d led him to believe for some time. But the last two times he’d been home from school, she’d hinted she’d be interested in more than a roll between the sheets or in the backseat of her car. He shut that door both times, and it bothered him he’d have to do it again because despite not wanting to carry on with Carla anymore, she was a nice girl.

  He turned to see her sauntering through the crowd of people to stand in front of him. She held a beer in her hand, the fingers of her other feverishly working the label on the bottle. Her long, blonde hair hung over her shoulders, hiding the cleavage he knew would be on display. Her hazel eyes twinkled with a hint of her buzz.

  “Hey, Carla! Got back yesterday,” Ren replied.

  She was a pretty girl. Always had been. A banging body most guys desired. Hence, his own relationship with her.

  Her gaze roamed over him from head to toe. When her eyes came back to his face, she wore an appreciative grin. An uncomfortable guilt settled over him. She appeared to think sleeping with him was a foregone conclusion and he had only himself to blame for that impression.

  He didn’t want to be cornered by Carla as he knew what she wanted. Shit! He’d given her that same look in the past, looking for the same thing. But his interest in sleeping with her had passed.

  “You home for the summer?”

  He nodded. He planned to be home for good, but she had no need to know his plans.

  She tossed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder before bringing the beer bottle to her lips and taking a sip. With her hair flipped back, nothing hid her large tits, which practically fell out of the white tank top. He never had any issue with a girl who wanted to show off her assets. Under most circumstances, he rather enjoyed the view. Looking at her now, putting everything
on display, made him appreciate Stacey’s more subtle sexiness. An eagerness to get to her swept over him.

  “You graduated, right?”

  “Yep, I wrapped things up in Gainesville.” He glanced over at Tyler and gave him the “I’m out of here” head tilt toward the door. Tyler nodded.

  “You guys wanna hang out?” she asked, peering at them both. Her eyes darkened as she looked them over. Ren grimaced.

  Tyler had slept with Carla, too. In fact, they’d both slept with her at the same time once. Ren’s first threesome. But those kinds of days were over for him. Obviously, they weren’t over for Carla or perhaps Tyler.

  “I’ve got plans tonight. But I’m sure Tyler won’t mind hanging out.”

  Disappointment crossed Carla’s face, and Ren felt a pang of remorse for having ever given her the indication they would do this bed-buddy thing forever.

  For a while, sexual release was just that—sexual release. Now, he wanted more than sex. He needed more. A connection with someone. Well, not just someone. Stacey. For the first time, he made love to a woman, even if the sex was hot and dirty and fucking amazing. Better than any sex he’d ever had. Going back to meaningless seemed out of the question.

  “Come on, Ren,” Carla begged. “For old time’s sake?” The pleading in her voice niggled him. In the past, those doe eyes and soft voice would have worked him over. Not now.

  Ren shook his head. “Sorry, Carla.” He patted Tyler on the back. “You got this?”

  Tyler nodded.

  “I’ll catch you tomorrow at the beach. What time you get on duty?”

  “I start at eleven. Beach access eight,” Tyler said, slipping an arm around Carla’s shoulder. She snuggled into him, but still focused on Ren.

  “Okay, I’ll come hang out for a bit. Nice to see you, Carla.” Ren walked in the direction of the door, stopping to say hello to a few familiar faces before strolling out to the parking lot.

  Jumping into his Jeep Wrangler, he started the engine and drove back to his neighborhood on Madeira Beach. He parked his Jeep in his parents’ driveway, but that wasn’t where he planned to stay the night. Not if he had anything to say about it. He would have to come up with a plausible story to tell his parents in the morning.

  Noticing no lights on at Stacey’s house or her car in the driveway, disappointment rolled through him. Where could she be?

  He climbed out of the Jeep and wandered over to her yard, peeping through the small window on the garage door. Her car wasn’t there. Maybe she went out with friends. He’d wait it out on the porch swing. It was only eleven o’clock.

  ****

  “Ren, what are you doing sleeping on Stacey’s porch?”

  Ren peeled his eyes open to find his father standing over him, and he startled. He’d been sitting on Stacey’s swing, messing around with his iPhone and must have fallen asleep.

  “Dad.” He sat up and stretched. The swing swayed, knocking him unsteady. He grabbed the arm of the swing to steady himself and rubbed the side of his neck, which would make him pay for falling asleep in such an awkward position.

  His father held out his hand.

  Ren grabbed it and hauled himself up to standing. “What time is it?”

  “Two in the morning,” his father said.

  Ren scanned his surroundings. He didn’t see Stacey’s car in the driveway, and everything appeared quiet in the house. Where the hell was she?

  He stared at his father.

  Jay Haynes, D.D.S. must have just woken up. He stood before Ren in navy blue and white checkered pajama pants and a white t-shirt. Light-brown hair peppered with gray lay disheveled on his head. “Your mother started to get worried when she didn’t hear you come in. She got up about ten minutes ago and noticed your Jeep in the driveway, but you weren’t in the house. I was given the mission to find you.”

  His father didn’t seem the least bit annoyed. That was a great thing about Dad, patience and understanding. Where Mom could be overprotective and worrisome, his father knew exactly how to handle him.

  “Sorry if I gave you guys a scare.” Ren swiped a hand over his face. “Mom needs to understand I’m an adult. Some nights I may not come home at all. Soon enough I’ll be back out on my own.”

  “Ha!” Jay chuckled. “Even when you get married and have a family of your own, your mother will worry. That’s part of what being a parent is about. Mothers always worry, particularly your mother. She may be a little overprotective, but she loves you.” He paused. “Can you tell me why you’re sleeping on Stacey’s porch?”

  “I was hoping to catch her.” Ren sat on the porch step. His father’s probing came with intent, and he didn’t want to discuss it in the confines of their home for fear his mother would overhear. He hadn’t quite figured out how to explain to his parents his feelings for Stacey. “I guess I fell asleep waiting for her.”

  “She’s at her sister’s in Sarasota. You’d be waiting quite a while.” His father arched a brow before sitting next to him. “I overheard her talking to Mom earlier.”

  “She talked to Mom?” His voice cracked with nervousness. Stacey wouldn’t have said anything. If she had, his mother would have been blowing up his phone all night. Stacey had been caught off guard by his play for her this afternoon, enough to rush off and hide. There was no way she’d mention anything to his mom.

  “Yes. They chatted for a few minutes in the driveway before she left. Did something happen with Stacey? I know you were over there this afternoon. But she seemed to be in a rush to head out, at least that’s what your mother thought. She was concerned.” His dad stared out into Stacey’s front yard, not making eye contact.

  A good thirty seconds of silence passed before Ren answered.

  “I’m in love with her, Dad.” His words came out with confidence, but his heart raced a mile a minute. Admitting his feelings to himself had been a piece of cake. He cared what his father thought and wanted to be viewed as a man worthy of Stacey’s love and someone his dad could be proud of. Not some young guy trying to live out an erotic dream.

  Jay inhaled slowly before turning to look at Ren. His father’s blue-gray eyes shined with seriousness in the low light of the moon.

  “What makes you think that, son?” His father rested his elbows on his thighs. Small lines etched next to his eyes and across his forehead, illustrating his concern.

  “I’ve always had a crush on her.” Ren ran a hand through his short hair and exhaled. “But over the last couple of years, I’ve felt things for her. More than just a physical attraction. We became friends. I want to protect her. I want to do things with her…for her. I enjoy being around her. I couldn’t wait to get done with school just to be near her again.”

  “This isn’t just some fantasy of being with an older woman, is it? Stacey is an attractive woman.”

  “It probably started that way. She’s beautiful…inside and out. But my feelings for her go well beyond any sexual fantasy. I don’t know how to explain it because I’ve never felt it before. But I feel alive whenever I’m around her.” Ren rubbed his hands over his face, trying to push away the tiredness and unease.

  “Stacey had a really tough year. She struggled with the divorce and the fact Randy got another woman pregnant. It took her a couple months to even crawl out of her house after she first found out. Your mother and I were worried about her. She’s in a very vulnerable state.”

  “I know she is.” Ren wiped his hands along his jeans. His nerves were on high, making his hands sweat. “That just makes me want to be with her even more. I need to show her how amazing she is. Randy is a dick and I hate him for what he did to her, for hurting her. For putting insecurities in her head that were never there before. But another part of me wants to thank him. If he wasn’t such an asshole, I’d never have my shot with her. And I want one. Desperately.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want a relationship with a girl your own age? It would be far less complicated.”

  “I’ve been with plenty of girls m
y age.”

  His father smirked and rolled his eyes. He’d never hid his disapproval of Ren’s rash of girls in high school or college, and had often expressed his concern that Ren’s wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am attitude toward girls would eventually get him in trouble. Luckily that prophecy hadn’t come true.

  “I had fun, Dad. But none of those girls held my interest very long. Stacey does.”

  “Does Stacey know how you feel?”

  Ren nodded. “She does now. I told her this afternoon.”

  “What did she have to say about it?”

  “I think I surprised her. She thinks I’m just looking for sex, fulfilling a fantasy. Believes I could have no interest in her outside of that. But I know she’s attracted to me, and I’ve always known she cares about me.” The melancholy in his voice bothered him. Positivity. He needed to remain positive even if she did run at the first opportunity. He wouldn’t stop until she gave him a chance. “I think I may be the reason she fled to Jennifer’s.”

  “What does that tell you?”

  “She’s scared.” He pushed out another harsh breath.

  “What do you think she’s afraid of?” His father shifted on the step.

  “She’s afraid of upsetting you and Mom. Afraid I’ll lose interest in her and leave like Randy did. She’s scared my attraction will fade when a twenty-something blows by.”

  “Well, will it? You have a reputation with the ladies. Valid concerns on her end.” His father pulled his lips into a straight line.

  “I’m in love with her and I want to be with her. I’ve never felt this way about another woman. I know she has feelings for me.” Ren closed his eyes. The thought that he frightened her today, enough to make her take off to her sister’s and hide, tightened his chest into a knot. He didn’t want to add to her anxiety and stress. He wanted to hold her, protect her, make her laugh.

  “Whatever’s gone on between you and Stacey is between the two of you. You’re both adults. I am going to be honest with you. This won’t be a stress-free, easy-breezy relationship on many fronts. Your mother will not like this, and some of her reasons will be justified. A relationship between you two will be complicated. Aside from the almost eight-year age gap, you may find that you’re in different stages of life. You, fresh out of college and entering your career. Stacey’s established in her career and desires a family. Randy wouldn’t give her that, and instead gave it to someone else. She won’t take the time to fool around for several years with someone, playing house. She’s going to want someone ready to move into that stage of life quickly. Is that person you?” His father looked at him, the lines across his forehead deepening with his raised brows.